Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Steadfast

There is a "devotional" app that I downloaded for my Windows Phone, but I know it's available on iPhone and Android as well.  My facebook friends are probably sick of hearing about it, but it's been so revolutionary for me.  It's called Another Day of Victory.  It sounds so cheesy, but really it's so good.  I get something from it nearly everyday that I read it.

One particular devotional that I read recently hit me in such a personal way.  It was about faithfulness, and I wanted to share with you a peek into my life the past 4 years spiritually.

In April of 2008 I was going to church regularly, I would sing on the worship team and in the choir.  I was on the whole, faithful to God.  I was wavering though.  I was letting little things pull me down and because I wasn't strong in my prayer life they were allowed to grow into BIG things that eventually caused me to lose faith and completely withdraw. I let myself get hurt by what should have been some Godly wisdom meant to strengthen me, but instead I took it as an offense and I let that be my justification for leaving church and letting my relationship with God slowly deteriorate. By 2010 I was completely out of church and I was letting things into my life that had no business being there.

Fast forward to July 2012 and God was barely a blip on my radar.  He had VERY little to do with my life.  There were times that I wanted him to, I knew that I needed to get back into church, but I had gotten so far away from what I knew to be right.  I had so many problems and for some irrational reason I wanted to hold tight to the one or two parts of my life that I felt made me happy.

Finally God got my attention in a big way!  Helped me to see a lot of the ways I was being ridiculous and selfish.  My life had to almost fall apart before I would realize that the 90% of my life that wasn't good was that way because of the 10% that I considered a fun and happy part of my life was actually contributing to the unhappiness of the other 90%... I see that now.  We don't realize that some of the seemingly innocent things we let in our life can lead to compromise on a much grander scale.

This brings me to faithfulness.  I consider myself a very loyal person.  It is built into who I am naturally.  I have an easy time being faithful to family and friends, so why did I have such a hard time being faithful to God?  Is it because I can't see him?  Is it because I let doubt slip in?  Probably, but if I truly love God the way that I say I do, then I should show God the same Faithfulness that I show to the people that are in my life.

Faithfulness is being steadfast.  Even when things aren't going so great.  Even when I feel that God isn't listening or doing things quick enough for my liking.  Faithlessness is a very selfish act.  Ironically it is an act of faithfulness but it's faithfulness to one's ego.  I detest selfishness and egotistical people... yet, I was being that person to God.  I want to be STEADFAST in my love and relationship with God.  I want to be FAITHFUL!

Maybe some of you can relate, maybe some of you can't.  If you can't relate in a spriritual way, then maybe you can see how this realization that I had can translate into the relationships you have with the people who are close to you.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

6 comments:

  1. I'm downloading the app while I type this. Thanks for the share!
    I'm a huge fan of the Bloom Book Club. This month their reading a book called 7. I can't put it down!

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  2. Very true Amy, indeed if we let things into our life and let those things be bad associations... things that God does not want for us... then it will draw us away from him. Satan means serpent, devil means deceiver... his whole being is meant to draw you away from the Lord. I love that you have been so dedicated to working at your relationship with the Lord. It's the only true way to have peace in your life.

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  4. Amy, I love you! I needed to read this, feels like the story of my life. I miss church, I miss hearing Pastor John. Thank you for this!

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