School... Feeding Woes... and MORE PICS!

Hi everyone! Ok. Sometime soon I will be going through all of YOUR blogs and commenting. I really have to budget time for this kind of thing, so don't think I have forgotten you, I haven't.

I was supposed to shut this thing down for a while, but blogging is such therapy for me, I don't know if I could ever. So I guess as long as I have something to say and time to say it, there will be new posts. You will know that if things get silent on here, I am VERY VERY busy.

I scheduled my classes for school. YIKES! I am getting so freaked out. I am taking a remedial math course (I suck at math), a nutrition course, and dun dun dun... Anatomy Physiology. Groan. ha. I am so nervous. I don't even know what I need anymore. Do people just work off laptops now? Or do I need notebook paper and pencils and pens still??? GAH. I don't know!

Anyway. Avery is doing good. WARNING: BREAST FEEDING TALK. We had a little breastfeeding flub up so I have watched my milk supply slowly dwindle away. She is primarily formula fed now. This didn't matter to me with Lindsey or Brendan who were formula fed. For some reason I am taking it harder with this one. Probably because it is my last baby FOR EH VER and I really had high hopes. Lindsey was primarily formula fed after 1 month. Brendan was formula fed as soon as we got him home from the hospital.

I know a lot of women give the excuse of poor supply... but I think mine is hereditary. My mom had issues breastfeeding too. With Avery, I would feed her nearly an hour and she was still acting ravenously hungry afterward, so I would supplement her with an ounce of formula. I have NEVER made an over abundance of milk, and my supply is sensitive. For some reason pumps don't do the trick. So. I am bummed about it but what can I do?

So how did I lose my supply?  Well.  My nipples started bleeding... just from normal breastfeeding.  Avery's latch was fine, I think she was just too eager and with an overbite it probably didn't help matters.  Anyway.  I told my ped that my nipples were bleeding and she told me I needed to pump until the blood was gone.  She told me that babies can't digest blood and it makes them throw up their feedings.  I had noticed that Avery had been spitting up a bit.  So I started pumping.  Well.  My supply just dwindled.  By the next day I could tell that my breasts weren't filling up with milk the same way.   Since she was already having a hard enough time being satisfied by my milk alone, this was worrisome to me.  I finally decided with school coming up, it might be better to just pump a few times a day and breastfeed and formula feed.  Supplement.  Well.  I just wasn't pumping enough to make it worth it so I thought I should just dry up.   However, I just couldn't let myself completely dry up. 

Yesterday I decided to try and see if Avery would cooperate and help me get my supply back, but after days of being used to the bottle... she really doesn't want anything to do with the breast.  I tried at 3 feedings and it just got worse.  She would start fussing after 1 minute... and only even stay there for 4 more.

I have decided that I don't have the time to work my supply back up to a reasonable level... with school starting in January and taking a full load (12 credit hours) I am just looking at the big picture. Maybe it's good to have her already used to formula... since I won't be able to breastfeed her. UGH. So there is my failing moment. I know I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I am not breastfeeding, but it helps for me to at least vent out that I am frustrated by it.

I wish I was one of those women who could produce milk with ease or have the time and patience to stick with it. If Lindsey and Brendan were to have exhibited bad side effects from being formula fed, I think I would be even more torn up about it, but Lindsey is so smart and loves to learn and rarely ever gets sick. Brendan is so smart too and he never gets sick either... so... I know I am not giving Avery the short end of the stick. I know she will be fine.  END OF BREAST FEEDING TALK

Well, here are some more pictures that I took of my pretty girl.

I asked Dave what his favorite Avery feature was. He told me her eyes. MY favorite Avery feature is this little wrinkle she gets on her forehead when she looks up! I love her hairline. I don't know where she gets it, but I love it. I have a 4 finger forehead and so does Dave... so we don't know where she gets her cute little 3 finger forehead from.



Dave had a hand holding shot with her in the hospital pics so I needed one too.

Hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday. I will be by your blogs soon... as soon as I can scrounge some time.