Avery 3 Month Photo Bomb!

I can't believe she is 3 months... well, she will be on the 9th. She's such a princess. Here is her 3 month photobomb.

Avery Claire 2 Month Photobomb

Photo Bomb time.  First, I thought I would update you and let you know that I am doing much better emotionally.  A friend of mine gave me a ton of supplements.  One of the main ones was something called SamE... or Cell Food.  It has helped me tremendously.  No more crying spells and I feel so much closer to Avery.  Thank goodness.  I still have some turmoil in my life, but I'm handling everything a lot better.

Anyway.  Moving on.  Avery is 8 weeks today, but turns 2 months on February 9.  I have a butt load of tests the week of the 9th so I thought I would get her pictures out of the way now.  She was pretty good throughout then she had her melt down.  So here you go.  Avery Claire... 2 months (8 weeks) PHOTO BOMB!!!

Avery Claire One Month Photo Bomb

*Hat in first picture courtesy of Christa of Sugarfoot Speaks 
*Blanket in last picture knitted by my friend Adrianne.

Adjusting, Baby Blues, and Roller Skates

It's been a rough last few days. Avery has been fussing a lot. If she's not sleeping she's fussing. Even when she is fed, changed, and being held. It's been daunting. It doesn't help that I have a bout of the baby blues.  I'm watching it to make sure it doesn't get worse.  I had the baby blues with Lindsey, but it went away at 4 weeks postpartum.  I am heading into week 5 postpartum and I am still crying at the drop of a hat, stressing, getting anxiety, experiencing insomnia, hyperventilating, feeling hopeless.  It's all overwhelming.

She is cute though, isn't she? ha.  She really didn't want me to take her picture.  She would have liked to have been sleeping as you can tell from the top right photo.  She is one month old... 4 weeks and 3 days. 

I have been doing a lot of hanging out with my good friend Becca from Life in Technicolor.  We went roller skating.  I hadn't been since I got pregnant, so that puts my last roller skating stint sometime in late February or early March.  It was nice to be back... we will be going as often as possible.  It's important to still do things for yourself when you have a lot going on in life.

 REALLY bad picture alert! ha... but still had to post it.  We'll work on getting better pics of us up.

I will be starting my weight loss journey Friday January 20... Mainly because I will be able to start working out again because I will be 6 weeks postpartum.  Sneak peek, this is what I am starting with... (excuse the chipping toe nail polish)

I should be able to start my "Tubal Experience" posts next month sometime.  That won't be a regular feature... probably every 2 or 3 months.

I may add in some school features too.  I am so nervous and scared to start school.  If anyone has anything encouraging to say about Anatomy and Physiology, please speak up now.  I'm really freaking out about it.

Wishing you all a happy week.

Avery is 3 Weeks Old!

It's hard to believe that these 3 weeks have gone faster than that 1 week that I went past my due date! ha. I can't believe she is already 3 weeks old! This time last year I never ever thought I would have another baby EVER... 3 months later this time last year I got the shock of my life when Aunt Flo missed her visit and I had a positive pregnancy test staring me in the face.

At 3 weeks Avery is 10 lbs 6 oz. 21 1/2 inches long with a head circumference of 15 inches. 90 percentile in weight. 75 percentile in height. 90 percentile in head circumference. She's a big girl, but the pediatrician is happy with her growth because she is "following her curve well."

We are slowly getting in a routine. She likes to eat... a lot. She wakes up every 2 hours most of the time. OCCASIONALLY she will wake up every 3 or 4 hours, but more than likely every 2. Looking forward to the longer sleep cycles and hopefully they will occur at night.

I am really starting to stress out about school starting because right now, I am definitely not getting enough sleep. On a good night I get 6 hours and on a not so good night about 3-4 hours. Right now the bad are out weighing the good, but it's been nice that Dave has been on vacation. He has taken "baby duty" for 2 nights... and tonight will make 3 nights. He is sweet, but I am going to be sad when he starts work again.

Well. Here is my chunk of a 3 week old. She's sweet. Sorry it's with my phone.  Somedays I just don't have the time to take pics with my good camera and edit them up... so on those days, the phone will have to do.

The Resolution Post

The New Year is almost here.  2012.  It is sobering to get to my age and realize just how quickly life can pass you by.  I remember being in high school thinking I would never ever graduate, but 1997 rolled around and I did.  I remember thinking it would be FOR EH VER before I would be 21... But the year 2000 came and turned 21.  A marriage, 3 kids, and what seems like a brief blip of time later and here I am wondering why I wished those years by so quickly.  Don't wish your life away.  Now at the age of 32, I look at my 8 year old and shake my head... how could I have been so silly as to say that "I can't wait until she is old enough to do this and that"  How could I?  Now she is 8 and I am wanting time to slow down.  I didn't learn my lesson.  I did the same thing with Brendan... and with my pregnancy with Avery.  I just couldn't wait to not be pregnant anymore.  Why would I want my life to go by any faster than it already is?

I am starting school January 17.  I am scared.  I also find myself wishing that this time in school would go very quickly.  WHY?  Why would I do that?  I will be 35 or 36 by the time I am finished with school.  Why do I want to wish those years to go any faster?

2012 Resolutions

1. To apply myself and do awesome in school

2.  Not let impatience take over.  Take time to enjoy the journey.

3.  Manage to parent, take classes and keep my house clean! ha.

4.  Find a church and get involved... this particular resolution has been on my list for the past 2 years.  Hopefully this time I can knock this one off.

5.  Lose all of my unwanted weight that I have gained with all 3 pregnancies.  I am hovering between 152 and 155 right now... so hopefully by the end of the year I can get down to at least 125, which is still heavier than I would like, but I will take it.
EDIT:  I don't want to offend anyone.  I think I end up doing this when I post weight centered ideas on my blog... I think because I am so candid about the numbers and numbers are relate-able.  I need to learn to just say I want to lose 30 lbs... rather than saying what weight I want to be at.  This is in NO WAY insinuating that 125 lbs is "heavy" but rather 125 lbs is "heavier" than the weight that I eventually want to end with.  Right now I would be happy just to be at my pre-pregnancy Avery weight which was 135... but really I'd like to lose more.  To feel good about myself and to be healthier.  Ya know?  I really am sorry if I offended anyone.  I really didn't mean it to come across that I think 125 is heavy.  It's all relative anyway.  A short girl can weigh 130 and look a little bit on the fluffy side, where as a taller girl can weigh the same and look way too skinny.  It's all relative.  Anyway.  Long story short.  No offense meant.

6.  Cherish my husband more.

7.  Love on my kids more.

8.  Embrace my friends.

9.  Make it through 2012 without drastically cutting my hair.

10. Get Silver Dollar City Season Passes ;)

I hope to get to read a lot of your resolutions.  HERE IS TO 2012!!! Let's make it a good year.  Savor every moment, as cheesey as that sounds!  Don't take life for granted.

School... Feeding Woes... and MORE PICS!

Hi everyone! Ok. Sometime soon I will be going through all of YOUR blogs and commenting. I really have to budget time for this kind of thing, so don't think I have forgotten you, I haven't.

I was supposed to shut this thing down for a while, but blogging is such therapy for me, I don't know if I could ever. So I guess as long as I have something to say and time to say it, there will be new posts. You will know that if things get silent on here, I am VERY VERY busy.

I scheduled my classes for school. YIKES! I am getting so freaked out. I am taking a remedial math course (I suck at math), a nutrition course, and dun dun dun... Anatomy Physiology. Groan. ha. I am so nervous. I don't even know what I need anymore. Do people just work off laptops now? Or do I need notebook paper and pencils and pens still??? GAH. I don't know!

Anyway. Avery is doing good. WARNING: BREAST FEEDING TALK. We had a little breastfeeding flub up so I have watched my milk supply slowly dwindle away. She is primarily formula fed now. This didn't matter to me with Lindsey or Brendan who were formula fed. For some reason I am taking it harder with this one. Probably because it is my last baby FOR EH VER and I really had high hopes. Lindsey was primarily formula fed after 1 month. Brendan was formula fed as soon as we got him home from the hospital.

I know a lot of women give the excuse of poor supply... but I think mine is hereditary. My mom had issues breastfeeding too. With Avery, I would feed her nearly an hour and she was still acting ravenously hungry afterward, so I would supplement her with an ounce of formula. I have NEVER made an over abundance of milk, and my supply is sensitive. For some reason pumps don't do the trick. So. I am bummed about it but what can I do?

So how did I lose my supply?  Well.  My nipples started bleeding... just from normal breastfeeding.  Avery's latch was fine, I think she was just too eager and with an overbite it probably didn't help matters.  Anyway.  I told my ped that my nipples were bleeding and she told me I needed to pump until the blood was gone.  She told me that babies can't digest blood and it makes them throw up their feedings.  I had noticed that Avery had been spitting up a bit.  So I started pumping.  Well.  My supply just dwindled.  By the next day I could tell that my breasts weren't filling up with milk the same way.   Since she was already having a hard enough time being satisfied by my milk alone, this was worrisome to me.  I finally decided with school coming up, it might be better to just pump a few times a day and breastfeed and formula feed.  Supplement.  Well.  I just wasn't pumping enough to make it worth it so I thought I should just dry up.   However, I just couldn't let myself completely dry up. 

Yesterday I decided to try and see if Avery would cooperate and help me get my supply back, but after days of being used to the bottle... she really doesn't want anything to do with the breast.  I tried at 3 feedings and it just got worse.  She would start fussing after 1 minute... and only even stay there for 4 more.

I have decided that I don't have the time to work my supply back up to a reasonable level... with school starting in January and taking a full load (12 credit hours) I am just looking at the big picture. Maybe it's good to have her already used to formula... since I won't be able to breastfeed her. UGH. So there is my failing moment. I know I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I am not breastfeeding, but it helps for me to at least vent out that I am frustrated by it.

I wish I was one of those women who could produce milk with ease or have the time and patience to stick with it. If Lindsey and Brendan were to have exhibited bad side effects from being formula fed, I think I would be even more torn up about it, but Lindsey is so smart and loves to learn and rarely ever gets sick. Brendan is so smart too and he never gets sick either... so... I know I am not giving Avery the short end of the stick. I know she will be fine.  END OF BREAST FEEDING TALK

Well, here are some more pictures that I took of my pretty girl.

I asked Dave what his favorite Avery feature was. He told me her eyes. MY favorite Avery feature is this little wrinkle she gets on her forehead when she looks up! I love her hairline. I don't know where she gets it, but I love it. I have a 4 finger forehead and so does Dave... so we don't know where she gets her cute little 3 finger forehead from.



Dave had a hand holding shot with her in the hospital pics so I needed one too.

Hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday. I will be by your blogs soon... as soon as I can scrounge some time.